This year’s Ace (or Asexual) Week is celebrated from October 20th to October 26th. Asexual is a lesser-known identity within the LGBTQIA+ community. Those who associate with the label are more often than not misunderstood. It’s important to know the reality from the rumors, so let’s take some time to expand our understanding.
Defining Asexual
Asexuality in broad terms, describes a person with very little or no sexual attraction to other people. This differs from practicing abstinence which is the conscious decision not to partake in sexual activity. To identify as asexual or ace for short, is an unchangeable aspect of one’s identity; akin to other labels such as homosexual or bisexual. Just because ace people don’t experience sexual attraction, doesn’t mean they can’t experience love.
The Spectrum of Attraction and Relationships
Both attraction and relationships aren’t tied to a “one size fits all” meaning. Attraction can vary from romantic to aesthetic to sensual; none are the same as sexual. Romantic attraction describes the desire to be intimate with another person. Aesthetic attraction focuses on purely physical beauty. Sensual attraction is the desire for interaction in a nonsexual way, such as kissing or hugging. This all differs from sexual attraction, which desires sexual contact.
Relationships also fall into different categories, though this is more commonly known. Variations include romantic, platonic, familial, and professional. Romantic is best explained as intimate and affectionate love that most people think of when hearing “couple”. Platonic describes friendships, which are on their own spectrum ranging from acquaintance to best friend. Familial is the support and care of family members as the name implies. Professional refers to bonds within the workplace, whether between coworkers, clients, or superiors. While more widely understood and accepted, it is still worth mentioning as ace people may be satisfied with these alternative relationships.
Asexuality is not the same as Celibacy
Celibacy and abstinence are the practices of not partaking in sexual intercourse. Abstinence is typically for a short period, while celibacy can last a lifetime. As mentioned before, asexuality is not a choice, it’s part of an identity. To reiterate, identifying as asexual is not a pledge, it’s a label. It’s similar to being born with brown hair versus dyeing your hair brown. One person was born with it, the other made the decision, that’s the difference.
Being Asexual Doesn’t Make Someone “Broken”
Within our society where romantic love is considered a life goal, ace people are often invalidated of their identity. The concept of a person being happy while also being single goes against the ingrained societal belief that has been around for centuries. Those who don’t experience these thoughts tend to struggle to understand the identity. Some may even claim that asexuality doesn’t exist, or that a person is “just confused”. Let’s make it clear that if a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction, there isn’t something wrong with them. It’s completely natural and is only further testament to the fact that every person has their own unique identity and story.
To Show Support
Knowledge is power! Setting aside even just a few minutes to learn more is helpful. Reading an article or watching one video makes a difference. Educate your friends and family! Informing others of the facts, whether from word of mouth, or social media will go a long way.
Spread love and awareness this week! It costs nothing to share kindness and positivity.
Sources: https://aceweek.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/articles https://www.asexuality.org https://lgbtq.unc.edu https://www.pinkvilla.com
